It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
I took the chef home. His dick even tasted like garlic
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
