i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
