there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
