i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Drunk is not a location!
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
