i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
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i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
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Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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