how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
He sent me a text saying his breakfast today was leftover mead and some fruit salad
Randomize
