It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
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