There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
