I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i just sent this text using only my big toe
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
