I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
