Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
