Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
