They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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