You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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