i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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