So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
You're like the curious george of whores
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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