Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize