Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
