he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
