Bisexual people are plain selfish.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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