there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
