I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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