sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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