whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
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