I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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