Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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