so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
