why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
