once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
