the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
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