Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
Randomize