I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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