Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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