Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
