I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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