Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
