no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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