Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
