tequila makes me forget i have legs
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
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