the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
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