I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
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Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
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Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.