You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
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