Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (319): View more from Iowa

  Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (319): Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in" http://tfl.nu/15za
  Replies (64) Good night (5388) Bad night (1130)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong. http://tfl.nu/vlez
  Replies (29) Good night (7676) Bad night (833)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  She just used a chaser for red wine.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): She just used a chaser for red wine. http://tfl.nu/vv6f
  Replies (22) Good night (840) Bad night (5767)
• Favorite

  (307): View more from Wyoming

  mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (307): mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her. http://tfl.nu/aq8k
  Replies (11) Good night (6643) Bad night (1051)
• Favorite

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (910): just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics http://tfl.nu/3wmw
  Replies (68) Good night (10886) Bad night (2528)
• Favorite

  (817): View more from Texas

  how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (817): how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut? http://tfl.nu/0rrw
  Replies (39) Good night (8437) Bad night (1117)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (954): I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day. http://tfl.nu/gtxx
  Replies (13) Good night (5282) Bad night (1016)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis. http://tfl.nu/7xur
  Replies (31) Good night (6149) Bad night (1104)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (414): Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack. http://tfl.nu/nm91
  Replies (10) Good night (2762) Bad night (899)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up http://tfl.nu/mf69
  Replies (4) Good night (1015) Bad night (1717)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked. http://tfl.nu/l7dr
  Replies (7) Good night (1475) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (860): You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face http://tfl.nu/wwpz
  Replies (3) Good night (862) Bad night (597)
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.

  (1-720): View more from Colorado

  Mother of the Year

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach. (1-720): Mother of the Year http://tfl.nu/ysx6
  Replies (5) Good night (703) Bad night (347)
• Favorite

  (772): View more from Florida

  its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (772): its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves http://tfl.nu/3m9t
  Replies (3) Good night (575) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends. http://tfl.nu/i30s
  Replies (1) Good night (462) Bad night (232)

Randomize