I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.