I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me