Texts From Last Night

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  (212): View more from New York

  Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed

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  (212): Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed http://tfl.nu/7dug
  Replies (4) Good night (876) Bad night (1209) Order T-Shirt
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number

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  (843): he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number http://tfl.nu/katp
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  (916): View more from California

  How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.

  (1-916): View more from California

  Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.

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  (916): How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids. (1-916): Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions. http://tfl.nu/28ax
  Replies (27) Good night (3854) Bad night (1043)
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  (510): View more from California

  well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it

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  (510): well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it http://tfl.nu/l3dc
  Replies (16) Good night (4563) Bad night (756) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis

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  (267): I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis http://tfl.nu/zmb9
  Replies (21) Good night (983) Bad night (3450) Order T-Shirt
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?

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  (856): My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic? http://tfl.nu/h7hc
  Replies (13) Good night (5647) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer

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  (313): I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer http://tfl.nu/w7yv
  Replies (8) Good night (2115) Bad night (801) Order T-Shirt
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.

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  (513): Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause. http://tfl.nu/kkfj
  Replies (8) Good night (3391) Bad night (782) Order T-Shirt
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  (561): View more from Florida

  The beers last night were like the tears from god

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  (561): The beers last night were like the tears from god http://tfl.nu/bni8
  Replies (5) Good night (1759) Bad night (555) Order T-Shirt
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?

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  (973): I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night? http://tfl.nu/cbpu
  Replies (8) Good night (6579) Bad night (788)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.

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  (910): Like some sort of pot growing robin hood. http://tfl.nu/4atp
  Replies (17) Good night (1631) Bad night (534) Order T-Shirt
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?

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  (905): When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog? http://tfl.nu/u47g
  Replies (7) Good night (470) Bad night (1298) Order T-Shirt
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?

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  (859): Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record? http://tfl.nu/se6e
  Replies (6) Good night (1530) Bad night (351) Order T-Shirt
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  (313): View more from Michigan

  we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles

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  (313): we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles http://tfl.nu/5ilu
  Replies (12) Good night (850) Bad night (355) Order T-Shirt
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.

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  (913): If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on. http://tfl.nu/4zva
  Replies (5) Good night (596) Bad night (173) Order T-Shirt

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