This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED