Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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