I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize