I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
