Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
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