are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
How external is "for external use only"?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
