What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
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just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
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There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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