saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
Randomize
