windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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