I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
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He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
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Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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