no one should ever give us hovercrafts
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
