just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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