somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
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