your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today