As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
I'm jealous of your bromance
I bet he comes in French.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"