Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(865): View more from Tennessee

i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.

(865): View more from Tennessee

the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"

(865): View more from Tennessee

this medicine is soooo good.

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(865): i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone. (865): the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now" (865): this medicine is soooo good. http://tfl.nu/gt3j

Replies (3) Good night (1708) Bad night (577)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.

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(814): I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave. http://tfl.nu/ropw

Replies (2) Good night (1641) Bad night (854)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?

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(740): Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong? http://tfl.nu/7sw3

Replies (13) Good night (4003) Bad night (908)
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(781): View more from Massachusetts

Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.

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(781): Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have. http://tfl.nu/ze45

Replies (8) Good night (3438) Bad night (1205)
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(702): View more from Nevada

So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.

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(702): So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college. http://tfl.nu/456d

Replies (47) Good night (8911) Bad night (903)
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(847): View more from Illinois

he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again

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(847): he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again http://tfl.nu/lfrb

Replies (23) Good night (935) Bad night (4580)
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(941): View more from Florida

there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.

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(941): there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship. http://tfl.nu/bd1c

Replies (8) Good night (5054) Bad night (917)
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(850): View more from Florida

why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?

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(850): why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream? http://tfl.nu/judd

Replies (7) Good night (3673) Bad night (908)
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(616): View more from Michigan

I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.

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(616): I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes. http://tfl.nu/slsk

Replies (23) Good night (5135) Bad night (1446)
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(979): View more from Texas

I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.

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(979): I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system. http://tfl.nu/cus3

Replies (14) Good night (2136) Bad night (1310)
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(909): View more from California

No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.

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(909): No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets. http://tfl.nu/zkqt

Replies (6) Good night (2164) Bad night (726)
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(850): View more from Florida

when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..

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(850): when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys.. http://tfl.nu/5j7g

Replies (26) Good night (1250) Bad night (2755)
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(724): View more from Pennsylvania

Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?

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(724): Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin? http://tfl.nu/jzs7

Replies (9) Good night (1321) Bad night (678)
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(720): View more from Colorado

I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.

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(720): I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry. http://tfl.nu/lrky

Replies (2) Good night (1436) Bad night (461)
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(512): View more from Texas

Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?

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(512): Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night? http://tfl.nu/ccoz

Replies (7) Good night (596) Bad night (445)

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