So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.