I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
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No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
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A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species