So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
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