Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk