margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I have feelings that need drinking.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Randomize
