peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
