Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize