you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize