last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
